#457: prince - dirty mind (1980)
none of the smart and beautiful things robert christgau has written about popular music matches the last line of his review of prince’s second album: “mick jagger should fold up his penis and go home.” prince was a young man with a mouth made out of velvet, a nose that knew a good perfume’s top base notes, an ear for james brown, and a trench coat that looked good even when paired with a bikini and stockings (but no shirt). his mustache should be in a museum.
#410: echo and the bunnymen - seven seas (1985)
penguin costumes, giant portraits of humphrey bogart, iffy lyrics (“stab a sorry heart/ with your favourite finger”), cardboard goldfish, a mid-80s british pop melody that’s prettier and less bombastic than u2, plus bad wigs make a good combination. robert christgau once sniffed that the most likable things about echo and the bunnymen’s singer were his crumpled shirts and skin problems, which was all wrong: it was his waistline, his accent, and the way his hair was mussed just so.
#395: violent femmes - american music (1991)
for a band of shlubby, depressive milwaukee guys most famous for a folk-punk ditty about masturbation, the violent femmes are awfully good. not only is american music a catchy song about catchy songs, but it seamlessly and accurately condenses popular culture into proms, drugs and loneliness—plus, better yet, its video was shot by the man who made baby’s got back and love shack.
#181: george harrison - blow away (1979)
just after lennon’s assassination, robert christgau (who writes about music the way hemingway wrote about alcoholic couples who loathed each other and went on safaris and drank gin, which is to say that christgau writes so tightly that everything you ever wanted to know about an album will be explained in three sentences or less) said in the village voice: “why is it always bobby kennedy or john lennon? why isn’t it richard nixon or paul mccartney?” he got in a lot of trouble.
if george harrison had read that, even though christgau was basically right, i’m sure he would have said, “oh guys let’s not say anything nasty, let’s go make a music video with awesome mirror video effects and a giant orange bird with funny arms, and maybe a big plastic dove too, and maybe me in a sweet suit on top of a huge dog? i have a happy melody that’ll be perfect for a huge happy dog.”
my point is that george harrison is awesome.
#14: roxy music - virginia plain (1972)
in 1972, bryan ferry got behind a microphone on top of the pops wearing a sparkly sequented blouse, backed by brian eno in leopard print and gold gloves. just like that, glam became cool.
and then 49 seconds into roxy music’s debut, the band thwacks to a halt. “baby jane’s in acapulco,” mr. ferry squeeks, “and we are flying down to rio.” (be sure to catch the little jazz-hand wiggle there.) that would be the hippest line in roxy music history, if it weren’t for: “midnight blue casino floors/ dance the cha-cha through till sunrise/ open up exclusive doors. oh wow!”
and did you know the critic robert christgau once called brian eno “a balding, long-haired eunuch lookalike”? i like when he looks up here and smiles at the saxophone/oboe player in the green alien suit. it’s so touching.
